Lane, Tritons Trumpet (1621)

Modernisation of the ‘August Tale’:

An Englishman named Burrel, born in Cornwall,

served as a guard to King Henry VIII.

In his bold youth, he was known for great strength—

so much so that the King himself wanted to test him.

But Burrel held back out of respect.

He wouldn’t throw or hurt the King while wrestling.

So Henry said to him:

“Burrel, I’ve heard you’re the strongest of all my guards—

but I don’t find that to be true.”

Those watching replied:

“He knows he’s wrestling the King,

otherwise you’d quickly feel his strength

and know this is truly Cornish Burrel.”

At their next match, Henry realised the truth:

Burrel had real strength—but didn’t use all his skill before.

Years passed. King Henry died,

and his daughter Mary took the throne.

Burrel was now old, but still one of her guards.

When Philip of Spain married Mary,

he brought with him a young French wrestler—

strong, impressive, and highly skilled.

This Frenchman defeated nearly all the Queen’s guards.

No one could best him.

King Philip was delighted,

but Queen Mary was troubled by her guards’ failure.

So old Burrel asked the Queen

for a chance to face the Frenchman.

The Queen replied:

“Your age has worn you down—

otherwise I’d think he wouldn’t escape defeat.”

But before the royal court, they entered to wrestle—

bare to the waist, as was the custom,

wearing jackets with grips at the shoulders.

They locked together in combat.

Burrel, now nearly seventy,

stirred his stiff joints

and called upon his Cornish skill.

And then—at last—

he tore the Frenchman’s shoulder blade

and threw him to the ground.

The man was carried away, completely defeated,

and died not long after.

Behold—this is the story captured in this monument.

The rest is left to time and fate.

Original:

This English Burrel hight, a Cornish man, To the late Henry th’eight a gardian, Beinge in daringe yoath esteem’d so stronge As that great Kinge, to trie his force did longe. Whome Burrel spar’d because hee was the Kinge, Ne (wrestlinge with him) woold not cast, or wringe; Which caus’d the Kinge thus saie , Burrel, I heard That thow the strongest weart of all my gard; I doe not find yt so ; whereat some said, Hee knowes it is the Kinge with whome hee plaid : Ells mote yoe quicklie feele him verefie , That this is Cornish Burrel certainlie . So, at the next concert Kinge Henry feeles , Burrel had strength, but not so many weeles. Long after this, ( Kinge Henry dead and gone) And his brown daughter Marie in his throne, And Burrel strooken old, yet of her gard , And Philip weddinge her, becom her ward, Hither hee brought a Frenchman, goodlie, younge, Whoe in the feates of wrastlinge, prov’d so stronge As foil’d, or cast downe all, or most her gard, And no man fownd (as yet) coold him discard. In so much that King Philip joid as much, As Marie at her gards reproch did grutch. Which urg’d old Burrel make a suite to her, That he mote trie Kinge Philipes wrasteler. Ha, quod the Queene, thine age hath thee dispoild, Ells I presume hee shoold not scape unfoild. But when before the princes in they came, In manner naked (as in thold embleame) With baggs calld collers on theire showlders plact, And to the concert either graplinge fast, Old Burrel aged neere three score yeeres and tenn, Rowzd his stiff jointes, and Cornish stratagem: Wheare thus befell, that Burrel at the last, Tore out the Frenches showlder blead, and cast, So as the man was carried from the place, Quite vanquish’d, whereof died in litle space. Lo! heere theire embleam in this monument, The rest depends on future contingent.”