Midleton & Rowley, A Faire Quarrell (1617)

This scene from Middleton and Rowley’s tragicomedy demonstrates the period’s theatrical interest in the collision between rustic simplicity and urban sophistication.

Chough (the name itself suggesting a crow or fool) is a Cornish gentleman whose obsession with wrestling and inability to comprehend social nuance creates both comedy and pathos. The ‘roaring school’ refers to establishments where young gallants learned the arts of fashionable swaggering and intimidation – a satirical target in Jacobean city comedy.[1]

The ‘green sickness’ (chlorosis) was a contemporary medical term for an anaemic condition supposedly affecting young women, often attributed to sexual frustration or delayed marriage.[2]

Modernised Dialogue from A Fair Quarrel (1617)

Characters:
Chough (Chaw.),
Russell (Russ.),
Captain Albo (K.),
Jane,
Physician (Phys.),
Trimtram (Trim.)

CHOUGH: Truth be told, sir, I like her exceedingly – in comparison to anything a man could desire. I’m as high as a mountain in love with her already, and that’s as far as I can go by land, but I hope to go further by water with her one day.

RUSSELL: I must tell you, sir, she has lost some colour through wrestling with a troublesome sickness of late.

CHOUGH: Wrestling? Well, if she loves wrestling, I’ll teach her a trick to overcome any troublesome sickness in London, whatever it may be.

RUSSELL: Well, she had a rich beauty, though I say it myself, and it’s not lost – a little thing will restore it.

CHOUGH: She shall command the best thing I have, in faith.

CAPTAIN: Well sir, speak with her, give her a taste of your good liking for her. You shall have time and free access to complete what you now begin.

JANE: (aside) What does my father mean? My love’s unjust restraint and my shame, were it made public, both together could not afflict me like this odious fool. Now I see why he hated my Fitzallen.

CHOUGH: Sweet lady, your father says you’re a wrestler. If you love that sport, I love you the better. In faith, I love it as well as I love my meal after supper – it is indeed meat, drink, and clothing to me.

JANE: Methinks it should tear your clothes, sir.

CHOUGH: Not a shred, in faith! Trimtram, hold my cloak. I’ll wrestle a bout with you now – I’ll show you a trick you’ve never seen in your life.

JANE: Oh good sir, forbear! I am no wrestler.

PHYSICIAN: Good sir, take heed – you’ll hurt the gentlewoman.

CHOUGH: I will not catch below the waist, believe me. I know fair play.

JANE: It’s no woman’s exercise in London, sir.

CHOUGH: I’ll never believe that. The hug and the lock between man and woman, with a fair fall, is as sweet an exercise for the body as you’ll desire on a summer’s evening.

PHYSICIAN: Sir, the gentlewoman is not well.

CHOUGH: Perhaps you are a physician, sir?

PHYSICIAN: It is so, sir.

CHOUGH: I say then, and I’ll stand firm on this, three ounces of wrestling with two hips, a yard of a green gown put together in the interlude, is as good a medicine for the green sickness as ever breathed.

TRIMTRAM: Come sir, take your cloak again. I see there will be no match here.

JANE: A match? I’d rather be matched to a musket’s mouth and shot to my death.

CHOUGH: I’ll wrestle with any man for a good supper.

TRIMTRAM: Indeed sir, I’ll take your part there – catch that, catch!

PHYSICIAN: Sir, she is willing to retire. There at my house, she may be private and near to my attendance. I know you don’t mistrust my faithful care – I shall return her soon and perfectly recovered.

RUSSELL: Take your leave then, daughter. Go with this gentleman. (to Jane) But prithee, look well this way before you go. He’s a wealthy simpleton of great estate – a thing that will be ruled, and you shall rule him. Consider your sex’s general aim: that domination is a woman’s heaven.

JANE: I’ll think on it, sir.

RUSSELL: My daughter is retiring, sir.

CHOUGH: I would part at Dartmouth with her, sir. Oh, if only you loved wrestling – I would give any man three foils on that condition!

TRIMTRAM: There are three sorts of men who would thank you for them: either cutlers, fencers, or players.

RUSSELL: Sir, as I began, I end: wondrously welcome.

[Exeunt Russell, Jane, Physician, and Anne]

TRIMTRAM: What, will you go to school today? You’re enrolled, you know, and your fees are running on.

CHOUGH: What, to the roaring school? Pox on it! It’s such a damnable noise – I shall never master it. I do wonder they haven’t got a wrestling school – that would be worth twenty of your fencing or dancing schools.

TRIMTRAM: Well, you must learn to roar here in London – you’ll never advance in the reputation of gallantry otherwise.

CHOUGH: How long has roaring been an exercise, do you think, Trimtram?

Original version

Chaw. Troth I doe like her sir in the way of compariſon to any thing that a man would deſire, I am as high as the Mount in loue with her already, and thats as far as I can go by land, but I hope to goe further by water with her one day.

Russ. I tell you sir, ſhe has lost some colour, By wrastling with a peeuiſh ficknes now of late,

Chaw. Wrastle? nay and she loue wrastling, lle teach her a tricke to ouerthrow any peeviſh ſicknes in London, what ere it be.

Russ. Well, she bad a rich beauty though I say’t, Nor is it lost: a little thing repayres it.

Chaw. She shall commaund the best thing that I haue in yfaith.

K. Well sir, talke with her, giue her arelifh Ot your good likłing to het, you ſhall haue time And fre e acceſſe to finiſh what you now begin, >

lane, What meanes my father? myloues vniuft teſtraint, My ſhame were itpubliftit, both together Could not aſſſict me like this odious foole: Now I ſee why he hated my Fitz- Allen,

Chem. Sweet Lady, your father sayes you are a wrastler, iſ you loue that ſport, l loue you the better, I faith I loue it as well as I leve my meateatter ſupper, tis indeed meate, drinke and cloth to me,

lane, Me thinkes it ſhonld teare your clothes, firs

Cham. Not a tag yfaith :; Trimtram hold my cloake, Ile wraſtle a fall with you now, Ile ſhow you atricke that you neuet {aw in your life, |;

Iaue. Oh good fir forbeare,l am no wraſtler,

Phy. Good fir take heed, you le hurt the Gentlewoman,

Chaw. I vill not catch beneath the waſte belieue it, I know fayre play,

Jane, Tis no womans exerciſe in London,Gr,

Chaw, Vie nete belieue that, the hug and the locke betweene man and woman, with a fayre fall, lis as ſweete an exerciſe for the body, as you’l deſite in a ſommers euening.

Phy, Sir, che Gentle woman is not well,

Chem, It may be you are a Phykitian,fir,

Phyſ. Tis ſo,fir,

Chaw, I ſay then, and ile ſtand root, three eunces of wraftling with two hippes, a yard of a greene gowne put together in the Intourne, is as good a medicine for the greene ſickneſſe as euet breathd, |

Trim, Come ſit, take your cloake agen, I ſee here wil be nere a match, g |

Jane, A match? T’de’rather bee matcht from a Muskets mouth, and ſhot vnto my death.

Chow, Ile wraftle with any man for a good ſupper,

Trim. I marryſſir, ile take your part there, catch that carch

Phy, Sir, ſhe is willing too t. There at my houſe, (may, She ſhall be priuate,and neare to my attendance, I know you not miſtruſt my fairhfull care, I ſhall returne her ſoene and perfectly.

Eu. Take your — far, go with this gentlemanſ( lan-) |

But prithee looke well this way, ere thou go ſt, ‘Tis a rich Simplicity of great Eſtate: A thing chat will be rul’d,and thou ſhalt rnle, Confider of your ſexes generall ayme,

That domination is a womans heauen,

Iane. Ile thinke on’t firs

Reſſ. My daughter is retiringgfir,

Chaw, I willpart at Dartmouth with her, fir, Oh that thou didft but loue wraſtling, I would giue any man three foile; on that condition.

Tun. There’s three forts of men tbat would thanke you for um, eyther Cutlers, Fencers, or Players,

Rs]. vir as | began, / end, wondrous welcome, |

| Exit Ruſſ, lane,Phyſe An.

Trim, What, will you go to ſchoole to day? youate enterd you ko, and your quarterige runs on.

Char. What? d the roaring ſchoole ? pox ont, tis ſuch a damnable noyſe, ſhall never attaipeitneyther: I dee wonder they haue neuer a Wraſtling Schoole, that were worth twenty of your ſencing or dancing ſchooles.

Trim, Wel, you mui learne toroare here in London, you le neuer proceede in the teputation of Gallantrie elle, i Chaw, How long has Roaring been an exerciſe, thinkeſt thou Trimtram.

References:

[1] Holdsworth, R.V. (ed.) (1990) A Fair Quarrel, New Mermaids. London: A&C Black.

[2] King, Helen (2004) The Disease of Virgins: Green Sickness, Chlorosis and the Problems of Puberty. London: Routledge.

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