Somersetshire Backword players (1892)

(pp167)…Joe beckoned me in, and I went round to the back of the table and looked on. As the men came up from the group round the door, when their names were called out, the umpires said a few words to each of them and then gave them their prizes, and most of them made some sort of speech in answer; for they were much less shy than in the morning, I suppose from the sense of having earned their right to hold up their heads by winning. The owner of the successful donkey was just carrying out the flitch of bacon when I arrived ; after him the Somersetshire backsword players were called in to take the first three prizes for that sport, they having beaten all the Wiltshire men ; while old Seeley, the only Berkshire man entered, to everybody’s suiprise had not played out bis tie, but had (pp.168) given his head (as they said) to his second opponent. Therefore, although entitled to the last prize for having won his first bout, he had not done all his duty in the eyes of the umpires, who gently complained, while handing him over his four half-crowns ; and wondered that so gallant an old gamester, and a Vale man, should not have played out his ties for the honour of the county.

“Well, gen’l’men,” said old Seeley, giving a hitch with his shoulders, ”I’ll just tell ’ee how t’wur. You see, ther’ wur six Zumersetshire old geamsters come up to play, and ther’ wur six o’ our side to play ’em : dree Wiltshire and dree Barkshire, if so be as we could have made a party. But the dree from Wiltshire they wouldn’t go in along wi’ we, and turned their backs on me and my two mates ; so my two mates wouldn’t go in at all, and wanted me to give out too. But you see, genl’men, I’d a spent a matter of a pound over getting myself a little better food, and making myself lissom ; so, thinks I, I must go up and have a bout, let it be how t’wool. And you saw, gen’l’men, as I played a good stick. So when it cum to playing off the ties, ther’ wur dree Zumersetshire tiers, and two o’ our side, that’s Slade and me. But when a man turns his back on me, gen’l’men, why I turns my back on him ; so I guv my head to young llapstone, and left Slade to win if ’a could. Though thinks I, if thaay Wiltshire chaps had behaved theirselves as thaay should, we might ha’ had the prize, for I knows as I never played freer in my life. And I hopes, gen’l’men, as you don’t think I wur afeard of any man as ever got on that stage. “Bless you!” said old Seeley, warming up, ” I be that fond o’ thaay (pp169) sticks, I assure ’ee, gen rmen, Td as lief meet a man as is a man for a bout wi’ thaay sticks, as I would — a joint of roast beef.”

Old Seeley’s speech carried conviction, for there could be no mistake about the tone in which he drew his last comparison, after a moment’s pause to think of the thing he liked best; and he retired from the tent in high favour, as I think he deserved to be.

Anonymous (1892). The Scouring Of The White Horse, Macmillan & Co. Available online, via Archive.org.